Rusty Radio's Poetry

The Only Moment We Were Alone

2010-01-15T19:04:00.000-08:00

The only moment we were alone
Was never
This pain seaps in deep
Makes me weap.

This crushing sorrow
Is painful
The world is covered in a black darkness
That is just to meak for me
I need your hand
To lead me through the sadness
The sight you can give me
Is a light that i only can see
The true love i feel for you
Is something that i cant describe
Its something that has to be felt

But what the fuck is wrong with me
To mistake these feelings of love with limerency
Im so sick of that word
Its like a punch in the gut
Which by now is internally bleeding
Because im torturing my self
By looking at pictures of thee

Im so sick of this feeling
I need you to be with me
When i saw your face last saturday
When i saw the way you looked through me
When i saw you shed a tear and how much
I wish it was me who could clear it for you
Instead of your girlfriend and her child sitting next to you
I wish i could make you able to see
I dont know how happy you are and
I dont know how happy i can make you
But i know how happy you can make me.

Rythem

2010-01-15T19:02:00.000-08:00

The hidden rhythm of your heart beat
Underneath my trembling hand
The radiant heat
The band
In the background
While your fast asleep

A smile cracks my cheeks
I feel your hand sliding sleak
Down my thigh you hand flies
It stops
And in that moment
I feel your lips
As they tremble against mine
For ever in that moment of time
I will never forget that moment
I will never forget you

And so help me god
That when i wake up
I will never think this is a dream
Because in my personal reality,
You are the only one for me.

But my reality is
Its only limerency
For what this means, Incase you dont know
Is that this feeling of inadequacy
This feeling of emptiness
This feeling of love i hold for you
Its just not real,
And while i wish my life wasnt this bleak
The truth is it is,
And how i hold on everyday for a chance to change this fact
For a chance to see you

Take that as you may
But for as long as i live
I will
I wont
I cant ever forget you
For you are everything to me
And if and when this coma passes over
My first breath will be
Where is the one for whom i seek.

Several Words

2009-01-18T13:24:00.000-08:00

Several Words
--------------------
Several words we never knew,
Now have begun to make things real,
When our soul is gone, we have truly lost what it takes to feel,
To feel more, To feel life,
To be saved, because this cant go on,
Without meaning or cause,
I need you to save me, because i cant go on,
Without you, by my side not needing a clause.

We all need someone,
Demanding us,
Pushing us,
To be better then we are,
Someone who can give meaning to our self realiant lives,
Someone who knows the words,
To give you the time to need, to say what you believe,
To say what counts,
To make you swing in their lust.

If you where here,
Id love you,
More then life itself,
Here,
I could be with you forever,
Never decieving you,
Always treating you,
Nicely.

Tears Down My Cheeks

2009-01-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

Tears Down my Cheeks
-------------------------------
When i see your smile,
Tears roll down my cheeks,
Because every time you smile for awhile,
A piece of my breaks of, leaks
Into my shallow pool of misery,
Because your something to me,
A desired goal,
Never going to be able to reach,
And i dont know why, But im sick of feeling this way,
Im sick of thinking of us with an array
Of light blinding us, Distracting us, Holding
Onto us, forever as I imagine,
Us growing old together, aging
Slightly, Hasten,
A slight work of fiction,
Is me being with you,
And as much as i want to give up,
Im unable to, because i am once and forever,
In love with you.

~Daniel Chapman

Lost my Breath

2009-01-15T19:27:00.000-08:00

Lost my Breath
---------------
I keep waiting for my breath,
To come back,
But it never does,
So come finish me off,
Break my heart with.

Noone should be seperated from the one they love,
Cause it shatters spirits,
Shatters hopes,
Causes one's self worth,
To be abolished,
Demolished,
Lost without hope to change,
To be what it once was,
That first time he or she looked into your eyes,
When their heart skipped that beat,
The way their hands shook your's good bye,
Because in that first instance of heat
Between the two of us,
Between the two of anyone,
Forever,
Gone.

So run after the one who stole your breath,
Maybe they'll be their to catch you,
Cause maybe they never forgot you,
Cause maybe, just maybe,
You meant something to them,
Barely,
A small gem,
That sparkled to that one person,
Whos first eye contact,
Sparkled, a recipricol action,
Whos smile cracked,
Your fragile heart,
And you know deep down,
Only that one person can make it right.

~Daniel Chapman

In the Air

2009-01-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

In the Air
-------------
Im breaking down,
Im crying,
I miss you in my life,
Come on,
Give me something,
Notice me,
I dont know what i can do anymore,
And now im alone and looking out,
And im waiting on the end,
For you,
How extreme will i need to be,
To get you to notice me,
From the summer air,
To the winter chill,
I can barely bare
This tough hill,
This giant obstical,
In the way from me getting you,
I will change, for you,
For myself, because when i get you, my life will be complete,
A giant relief
I sigh, as i look into the sky,
Breathing in your air,
Turning rosy red in ectasy and nervousness,
A slight bonus,
Would be for you to be rosy too,
A new untrue venture,
For me to be with you.

~Daniel Chapman

Time Stops

2009-01-05T03:32:00.000-08:00

Time Stops
------------
Time stops,
When i look into your eyes,
I can see your dorky side,
Quarky side,
Your compassionate,
Your charasmatic,
Your everything i look for,
Your everything i want,
Your perfect,
And when i look into your eyes,
I start to cry,
Because i can never have you,
A desired quotient,
Lifted high away from me,
All i can do is wait for you,
Wait for the moment when time stops,
Wait for the moment when Im important in your life,
And ill cover all bets,
That the moment this threats,
I wont be what you are to me,
Ill just be an obstical,
In your way, as you try to get by,
And if i know you cant get through,
Ill move, for you, As a way to impress you,
My wonderful dork,
With your annoying quarks,
But i will still love you,
Maybe one day when Time stops,
Youll love me to,
Because i can barely go on without you.

~Daniel Chapman

New Year

2008-12-31T21:17:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEARS

New Year
-------------
With the new year passing, its time for us to say goodbye,
We celebrated the year together, mostly,
With the consistant beating of myself,
To get you to notice me, finally,
But with this new year,
Im setting a goals,
Tto find you,
To show myself to you once more,
Maybe this time, it will be forever
Me and you, can share our love and travel afar,
Tour the world, or local bar,
We can head to places, unknown,
Or right back home,
As long as im with you,
So this is my resolution,
My own personal constitution,
Of laws i set on myself,
Forever, till the new year comes again,
Hopefully when i wake up in bed,
I wont be depressed,
More ill likely express,
My everlasting devotion to you,
Soon.

~Daniel Chapman

Staring

2008-12-31T13:26:00.000-08:00

Staring
--------
Staring out of the stands,
Watching the bands,
Climbing out of the sky,
Comes my perfect angel, set high
Apart from others in my mind, people left behind,
In my mind, its only you and me, free.

Ive had these dreams,
Of you and I together,
Forever,
But a blast from reality,
You dont care,
Im another lemming in the stands,
While your over there,
Marching, Moving to a gentle beat,
I see you walking,
Thinking,
But it doesnt get my anywhere.

All I want to do is touch your hair,
Stare into your brown eyes,
And get lost, say my good byes
To the outside world, no,
This is to you, you got into my head,
You keep me up in bed,
Yearning, played out,
I miss you.

~Daniel Chapman

Save Me

2008-12-31T13:24:00.000-08:00

Save Me
-----------
Take a breath,
Close your eyes,
Count to 5,
Take in the memories,
As they fly,
A blast from the night,
The days roll by,
Im just not the same as I was a year ago,
And each and every day from below
my mind, my heart isnt different,
Im still in love,
You want to be out there,
I just want you to say your beautiful,
I need you,
To save me.

~Daniel Chapman

Here i Sit

2008-12-28T15:14:00.000-08:00

This is one of my earliest poems ive written about a certain person, so here we go.

Here I Sit
-------------
Here I sit, breathing,
Waiting for you to see me,
Standing here, Watching,
Wondering, Why?

Why are you able to do these things,
So inconspicuous,
So insignificant,
Yet its this power you have over me,
The ability to make me want you,
The ability to make me thing,
You are the only one for me.

So as I Sit here wanting,
Your over there breathing,
Not even knowing,
Without even trying,
To destroy me.

~Daniel Chapman

Promise

2008-12-28T08:25:00.000-08:00

I know i havent posted in 4 days but i havent had a chance to write, so to make up for it, ill post 4 today.

I wrote this for my english class when we were talking about Emily Dickinson so here it is,

Promise
------------
You told me you' never leave,
The fact that you lied,
Hurt me, left me within a weave,
Of tangled lies, left behind,
For one to forever see.

I sit now in front of your grave,
I whimper as i start to breath,
Reminded of how,
You promised me,
How you would never leave me unable to see.

"You promised me!",
I cry as i look into the air,
Wishing i could see your golden hair,
Your shining face once more,
As i remembered it, before you left me,
Please?

I cant move along

2008-12-24T16:54:00.000-08:00

Hmm, so this poem is a really bad one, the theme changes to drastically over the poem but i promised myself id write 2 poems everyday for the month of december, so here it is.

I cant move along
--------------------
I wish for you to,
Hold me close,
Hold me tight,
A salute of altos,
Lead to the daylight,
The backbite,
The foresight to our future together,
Within the bitter bite of the cold winter night,
To the sun drenched summer delight,
Of being in your arms,
Your beautiful charms
Hidden in your smile creeks,
The past of a lonely maverick,
The distant car horns,
Telling us to move along,
To get you out of my life,
A neverending strife
Ive been trying to acheive,
But i cant move along,
I cant say a " So long "
So go while you waste your day thinking,
While im just sinking,
Into a shallow pool of self misery,
Trying to keep myself busy,
Writing this poetry,
Barely,
Forcing myself,
Pushing myself,
To move along.

~Daniel Chapman

Lose Control

2008-12-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

No introduction, just the poem this time :)

Lose Control
-------------
Almost Merry Christmas,
Marry Christmas Eve,
Will you be my Santa please?

Im just sick of the valentines,
The passers by,
With their hand in hands,
Its just the same over and over again,
I just need to be like strongmen,
And look past them,
To the time where i can be with you,
Because you make my heart swoon.

But as we stand here now,
I am reminded of all the reasons why,
Why i love you,
Why i want to be with you,
The way your eyes can look into mine,
And cross into the border line,
Of my soul, and make me loose control.

~Daniel Chapman

As To Why?

2008-12-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

So i just got a resurgence of emotions from watching a video of someone dear to me and wrote another poem :

As To Why?
---------------
Why cant i explain this,
Its at the tip of my tongue,
As to why?
Why your so captivating,
Exhilarating,
Hilarious,
Never afraid to make a fool of yourself,
Just to be with you by myself,
You know how to have a good time,
And not afraid of the why,
The why you do these things,
But i dont care, All those lemmings,
They just walk on with their dreary lives,
But im cast aside,
To notice you, To be akin to you,
But I love to ensue
Your acts, to follow along and misconstrue
Your actions, As if a cue
For you to pretend to care,
As long as im not there afterwards,
But we both know were just a bunch of nerds,
So as a final word of passing,
A sortve docking of my faulting,
Because even though its over,
I cant find my center.

~Daniel Chapman

Friend

2008-12-23T02:52:00.001-08:00

This is a poem for a friend of mine as a present to her.

Friend
--------
You were there from square one,
A great pal, one I could never shun,
Because of our deep connection,
You got me,
You never said I was an idiot,
A giant biggot,
A lonely nobody,
A loving beastly,
You only told me,
That i was a caring person,
Someone you can talk to,
With full honestly,
For you knew briefly,
That i was trustworthy,
And over time, this became true,
As we shared secrets, Now askwed into the sands of time,
Walk back in time and remember, of what we told each other,
In all confidance, that if lost,
My life would be a little bit colder,
Lonlier,
Emptier,
Scarier.

~Daniel Chapman

Sleep

2008-12-22T18:29:00.000-08:00

Again, why dont i like my own poetry anymore? I guess it seems maybe forced, like theres not enough emotion backing it, or maybe not the right kind anymore. Maybe this poetic therapy does work??

Sleep
--------
The moon is down,
The sun is rising,
I guess i should to,
But when i do, i never see you.

I wish i could,
I wish i could wake up to your face every morning,
Just so i can watch you sleep,
listen to your gently snoring,
Which others think may be boring,
But when i see your cute little cheeks, your dimples steeked
Into the corners of your mouth,
As you smile, which brightens my day from square one,
A beacon of hope, an omen of good faith,
A refusal to mope, as I start my day.

But just watching you sleep, i could do for ever,
Staying up late, while your passed away,
Unaware of my lingering eyes,
That pass your body like elevators to the skies.

A haunting chill passes down my spine,
As i come to realize,
That this is untrue,
For i never get to see you,
I dont know what its like to see your rosy cheeks,
Gently expanded by the the air, you exhale, you speak,
A disgruntled groan, I can only imagine,
That is, untill you take that one step with me, into the eden.

~Daniel Chapman

Incase I fall

2008-12-22T13:06:00.001-08:00

So i just wrote this one, and like the previous one, there are parts i dont like, but i feel it comes together in the end.

In case I Fall
-------------
I start to breath heavy,
I start to stumble,
I start to wobble,
I start to fall, While you just watch me,
You dont care, you come help me up,
But its out of courtesy, and sincerity,
But i just wish that your beautiful eyes,
Would start to look at me,
Your lungs would start to get heavy,
Your heart beat pulsing, through your chest,
Your blood flowing, with no rest,
Id help you up, not out of courtesy,
But out of love, out of compassion,
Out of caring for you,
Because i do,
Everything i do, is for you,
Its not clear, but i go out of my way to make your life easier,
I put up with others,
Its not easy, but its something i feel i must do,
You dont care, you dont even notice,
But still i go on, Like the rivers flow, never ending,
Always defending,
Always being there to help you when your down,
Always being there to turn your life around,
Always being there, so in case i do fall,
Your there, to help me up.

~Daniel Chapman

Look at me

2008-12-21T18:13:00.000-08:00

So I just wrote this poem and i have mix feelings about it, i like the idea but i want to change things about it just dont know what.

Look At Me
--------------
Time goes on,
While we wait and watch,
Everyone does it,
But I guess i do it more,
Because every moment of my life,
Every second i breath,
Im looking for you,
Hoping to see you again,
You dont have to say a word,
All i need to know is that your presence is there,
Then ill try my best,
To make you notice me, To make you finally see it,
That i love you, That i want you.

But i guess this is just puppy love,
Because while i notice you,
You dont see me,
I wait for that one moment when our eyes meet,
Because then I know that in that one moment,
I crossed your mind,
I was there, and you finally saw me,
But you just keep looking on, while i dont,
I keep looking at you, for that moment again.

But it doesnt happen, you go over to the other side,
Avoiding me, but i cant avoid you,
Its this power you have over me,
I dont want to, but you make me,
You make me walk over and look for something,
Something that i dont even need, dont even want,
Just so you notice me, Once and for all,
Please just notice me, Im standing here,
Why cant you see me the way i see you?

~Daniel Chapman

Your my shining light

2008-12-21T12:23:00.000-08:00

Ok so i cant really make titles for anything really, like every poem i have is untitled. But anyways, here it is:
EDIT: I THOUGHT OF A TITLE OMG!!!!!!!

Your My Shining Light
---------------
There comes a time,
When the lonely bystanders,
Come walking by and stop,
And stare and take a breath,
To watch the moment unfold,
The dawning of a new day,
Breaks to new hope,
To new life,
To shine across the stars that are now hidin,
By the gently glow of the sun,
That seems to hold
Onto those, Memorized,
Blinded by, The whos in line,
Who are boreded by their dreary lives,
Who watch after their all nighters,
The new day, becoming brighter.
They're active now, running towards the light,
Running to escape,
To be free,
Your hand in mine, we'll run together,
To be free of this world,
To escape our dreary lives,
To be together now, Hold on tight,
For the time is now, we're running fast,
The momentums building, the dream is growing,
The sun is our guiding light, directing us,
Showing us, where to go, who to be, what to do,
With you by my side, i know im where i want to be,
Being who i am,
Doing what i want to do, which is to be with you.

~Daniel Chapman